[He sighs a little, adjusting so his face is pressed against the back of Jupiter's shoulder. It's hard to talk about the actual dreams. The content is just too frightening, too strange and foreign and horrific to want to rehash in his mind.]
Tristan was erasing my memories of them. Without asking.
I don't know. Tristan thinks someone might be sending them to me on purpose. I see things-- Places and people and... and things I don't know. It's always me, but... a different me, hurting people. Strangers, or-- or you, or Tristan. But I don't know how to do any of the things I do when I'm dreaming. I don't know how someone i-insides go together, so how could I take them apart? O-Or using magic to do things to someone's body, I-- It's like healing, but backwards. But I don't know that at all...
[It's all incredibly distressing. He clings to Jupiter's arm more tightly, huddling against him and trembling at the thought. He'd never even seen any significant amount of blood before. His magic training has been restricted to frivolous, ornamental things. So where is it all coming from, if not from some unknown enemy?]
[ ... frowns, and twists so he can pull Ariel against his chest for a hug. He doesn't know what to do, he feels useless, and he can't imagine how Ariel must feel then. ]
[ He won't push anything, it was just a suggestion. He rubs Ariel's back, soothing. ] Then how about the opposite? Use your magic to make wonderful things, channel all your fear into that.
Yeah, I know. But you can't just decide what's good for you based on what makes him angry or happy, right? Otherwise you wouldn't have told him to stop erasing your dreams either.
[But that's a really foreign idea to him. Today's the first he's ever outright questioned Tris, and it feels a bit like betraying him, and being a bad brother to do it. Still... right now he's finding Jupiter very persuasive. When he looks up at him, it's clear he's a little entranced.]
[ Juipter, for one, has never been very comfortable with how differently Ariel has been treated, like a fragile glass thing to only take out for special occasions. He knows Ariel is so much more, and he wants to show Ariel so much more. But there are limits... it is a lot easier, if Ariel actually wanted to do more, as well. He needed to decide for himself, above all. ]
[He hasn't quite figured out doing things because he wants to just yet. He's too used to being guided and restricted, encouraged to just accept what's presented to him and ask as few questions as possible. Asserting himself is a new thing, something he's been making tentative gestures towards lately, but it's usually lovingly discouraged, so he hasn't worked himself up to truly pushing.]
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[and here he thought he was hiding it well (he wasn't)]
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[He sighs a little, adjusting so his face is pressed against the back of Jupiter's shoulder. It's hard to talk about the actual dreams. The content is just too frightening, too strange and foreign and horrific to want to rehash in his mind.]
Tristan was erasing my memories of them. Without asking.
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That guy... of course he would.
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[It's all incredibly distressing. He clings to Jupiter's arm more tightly, huddling against him and trembling at the thought. He'd never even seen any significant amount of blood before. His magic training has been restricted to frivolous, ornamental things. So where is it all coming from, if not from some unknown enemy?]
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[The hug is more than appreciated, Ariel shivering in Jupiter's arms as the images of his dreams flash through his head.]
I don't. But in those dreams, that's all I want to do. There's nothing nice in that me. It's just... bad.
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What if you learned about the magic you were doing? That way you're taking control of the dreams.
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I don't want to. I don't want anything to do with it.
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[ He won't push anything, it was just a suggestion. He rubs Ariel's back, soothing. ] Then how about the opposite? Use your magic to make wonderful things, channel all your fear into that.
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[That's a much better prospect.]
I can do that.
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[ Around Tris. ]
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[But that's a really foreign idea to him. Today's the first he's ever outright questioned Tris, and it feels a bit like betraying him, and being a bad brother to do it. Still... right now he's finding Jupiter very persuasive. When he looks up at him, it's clear he's a little entranced.]
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Think about it.
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[He hasn't quite figured out doing things because he wants to just yet. He's too used to being guided and restricted, encouraged to just accept what's presented to him and ask as few questions as possible. Asserting himself is a new thing, something he's been making tentative gestures towards lately, but it's usually lovingly discouraged, so he hasn't worked himself up to truly pushing.]
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[He has no idea what he's going to do with that option, but he'll accept it gratefully.]