Tristan Lechelle ([personal profile] downvoted) wrote2014-09-14 06:54 am

THE WAS A WILD FUCKING RIDE

I'll proof read it later. Questions?

Meadow
So the beginning area was fairly straight forward. Pretty flowers and music and dancing and yay if you stayed here it was 100% safe! June is Tristan’s dead girlfriend from when he was a cute teenager before Ariel murdered her but unlike (almost) all the other dead people in the heart she’s actually alive in there because what she represents is still alive! She’s his capacity to love and care for others.

Dancing with her or spending time with her is a great way to get Tris dere!

ACTIONS AND EFFECTS:
Jupiter, Kaneki, Victor, Tenka, Aoi, Yuki, Robin and Naoto all danced with June, increasing Tristan’s affection stat (what is this a dating sim?) and his willingness to be affectionate with them.

Yuki and Naoto stayed with June the whole heart, making him incredibly fond of and perhaps protective of them.

Allen, Kaito, Langer, and Kotarou refused to dance, making Tris believe they either don’t want his affection or don’t want to be affectionate with him. Allen did promise a dance later, so Tris might think Allen has some desire for affection or potential desire for it.

Victor slept with June, leaving Tris incredibly attracted to and possibly a bit infatuated with him, bordering on in love with.

LANGER I SWEAR TO GOD. Langer fused June’s bones, leaving her frozen and halting the music. Tris’s ability to express affection and friendship will be severely stilted and tense for a while, from awkward to just plain unable to express himself.

THEN THERE IS THE REST OF THE HEART

The heart had two ways to experience it, with a mask, or without one. Wearing a mask meant you were hiding from reality, things were safer, relatively, but also meant that the things you interacted with were more on the level of delusions. Reality trying to impose on you gave you a headache, thinking about reality was hard, grasping things was hard, and everything was confusing and disorienting to a degree. This was stronger in some areas than others. The delusions were no less “real” parts of the heart, but they were projections to make it safer and less distressing. Basically wearing a mask was letting Tris’ heart try to soften the experience for you, but that resulted in a lot of experiencing things as Tris would (or wanted you to because symbolism of delusion and masks and hiding) and that was its own level of trauma. Not having a mask of course just meant you experienced the heart with no filter.

Choosing to wear a mask or take it off also affected Tristan’s view of how honest others are with him, and how honest to be with them.

The Ballroom
Loneliness. This room was loneliness and echoes of dead people. Without a mask you’d hear the nobles being nasty about commoners and targeting you, you’d find the nobles long dead and you’d notice the red ink. With a mask you’d experience the nobles being friendly, but as they were all long dead, the experience was disorienting and edited itself. The red ink here, and in all of the heart, represents Tris’ helplessness and repressed magic. Attempting to clean it up would have lessened to oppressive air in the room (cleaning enough ink in enough areas would have weakened his magical seal).

ACTIONS AND EFFECTS:
Ariel, Victor, and Robin immediately put on masks. Revealing loneliness to them is not a thing Tris feels inclined towards.

Aoi, Kaneki, and Allen put the mask on reluctantly. He isn’t sure how to feel about talking to them of loneliness.

Though Kaneki and Robin took the masks off in here, making Tris more likely to feel like it’s okay to be vulnerable with them.

Kaito, Jupiter, and Kotarou never put on a mask. Tris believes they can face his loneliness without flinching.

Langer immediately left the way he came, and found you can never “recapture happiness” by being unable to cross the bridge back to the meadow. He’s a big ???

Kotarou searched the bodies--Tris thinks he’s disrespectful to the dead.

Robin, Allen, Jupiter and Kotarou examined the ink, making Tris feel like they can see through his vulnerabilities (whether that’s good or bad is hard to say, but he’ll feel more exposed with them). Allen, Victor, and Kaneki also came back through without a mask, also all dragging the cat, but they didn’t linger so not much was affected.

The Hall
Vandalised hallway! There were things under the portraits and it was possible to try to draw faces on them or put masks on! Since no one did I don’t have to figure out what it meant. If you entered the hall with a mask it looked perfectly fine and unvandalised.

Ink was in here too, no one tried to clean it.

ACTIONS AND EFFECTS:
Ariel and Allen straightened a portrait, vague feeling of them giving some kind of fuck for Tris, but unspecifically.

Ariel and Victor took off their masks here, no real effect.

Jupiter, Kaito, and Kotarou tried to climb the stairs without a mask, triggering Jupiter’s NPC to stop them. Tris feels more protective of them.

Kaneki and Victor also climbed the stairs without masks but cheated the system and bypassed the NPC. Tris will feel like he can’t protect them, nor is his protection wanted.

Aoi and Allen climbed the stairs with the mask on, no change in feelings.

Up the Stairs
Jupiter tries to stop you from getting up here if you don’t wear a mask or cheater bypass him. This is where you meet Ariel but it’s unlikely you’ll notice it’s Ariel, since the NPC appears as a masked version of your character. With the mask on you get, well, raped, but the mask is telling you it’s nice and it’s fine and you may get a little headfucked from it but it won’t be bloody and if you keep the mask on you’ll be let go. Mask off, and it still feels good but you’re going to get torturefucked until something in the heart rescues you or you shounen willpower yourself into fighting out of it. Unmasking Ariel makes him an unbeatable NPC and is either Bad End for you or you get a rescue.

ALSO I DID NOT ACTUALLY EXPECT SO MANY PEOPLE TO MAKE IT UP THE STAIRS GODDAMN YOU PEOPLE ARE DETERMINED.

ACTIONS AND EFFECTS:
Aoi and Allen wore masks here to start with.

Aoi left the mask on, Tristan thinks he’s someone who needs protecting from reality a lot.

Allen ripped his mask off, leaving Tris thinking he’s someone who can face torture and sadism. Allen also got a rescue, instead of fighting, leaving Tris thinking he needs help.

Kaneki and Victor entered this room without masks. THEY BOTH ALSO BROUGHT THE CAT TO THIS ROOM. THEY FUCKING BROUGHT THE CAT YOU GUYS. Okay so that cat in this room even for a little while makes Tris think Kaneki and Victor both are totally okay with how Ariel treats him and wouldn’t mind leaving him with Ariel.

Kaneki ended up fighting and unmasking Ariel. making Tris believe both that he would stand up to Ariel, but need rescuing from him. He also rescued the cat, so even if Tris thinks Kaneki is fine with how Ariel treats him, he thinks Kaneki would protect him in general. Kaneki also left books in here, so Tris believes Kaneki equates his worth with Ariel’s conditioning--he’s no good if he’s not a good submissive boy.

Victor let his double fuck him but used it to heal the cat. Tris thinks Victor would go to weird extremes for him. He also escaped with the cat, same feelings that Victor would want to protect him.

I SUM UP
There was no way to beat this room so there was no chance of positive change. This was just a way to experience to a very small degree, and also an expression of, Tristan’s relationship with Ariel, and that no matter what, he believes it’s his own fault. THAT WAS THE SYMBOLISM BY THE WAY; being assaulted by your double was both masking Ariel and a wordless representation of Tristan’s deeply internalized belief that everything Ariel does to him is, in fact, brought on by himself somehow. So that’s why people were tortured by themselves.

The library
If you went in with a mask it was on fire. You could save books or a cat or try to both but saving one more or less sacrificed the other. The books were Tris’ worth in himself, his believe in what he intellectually has to offer. The cat was his value in his life. Save the books, you save Tristan’s self-worth, save the cat you save his self-preservation. Not a great choice but still a choice. If you had a mask on, the library was not on fire! There was also no cat and all the books were blank or impossible to focus on. You could interact with the room but it was unsatisfying and headachey.

ACTIONS AND EFFECTS:
Ariel went in and left. Tris believes Ariel holds no interest or belief in his life or intelligence or anything else having worth. SO NO CHANGE ON THAT FRONT.

Kaneki, Jupiter, Kaito, Robin, Allen, and Victor all saved a few books and then abandoned that mission to save the cat. (Well Robin didn’t save any books) Tris believes all of them care about his life but don’t see him as either intelligent or having much worth as an individual. But they care! a lot! about him living! Enough to risk their lives for. So there’s that.

Almost no one entered with a mask, though Kaneki put his on briefly, therefor Tris believes everyone in the room can see his own worth for what it is (nothing). Exceptions being!

Aoi entered and exited the room with the mask on, showed interest in the books! Tris thinks that Aoi can’t see his worth well but has an interest in it, especially his music.

Allen came in with the mask on and took it off, Tris thinks Allen deliberately wants to see his worth.

KOTAROU PENDING

I SUM UP
There wasn’t much anyone could do here but save one thing or the other, and everyone chose to save the cat, so Tristan’s sense that his life, if not worth much, is at least valued is fairly high. He will want to survive no matter what.

Throne Room
The seat of power and confidence. If you entered with a mask you could talk to the king. Without a mask, well, the king was dead. Not that interesting. Under the throne was a secret passage--or more like a drop leading directly to the Pit. Touching the king’s head after it fell resulted in stitches on your own neck. The mask held a memory of Tristan’s parents deaths, and the crown instilled utter confidence. Sitting on the throne would change Tris’ perception of you into one of strong leadership and make him want to serve you. If you’d set something of Tris on the throne (Self Image, Sanity, or Potential, the cat, a book) he would have gained a deep confidence in himself or an aspect of himself. You could have also put Jupiter or Titania on the throne for interesting results. Ink in here, ink everywhere.

ACTIONS AND EFFECTS:
Ariel YOU LITTLE FUCK. Okay eh, Ariel knocked the king over, punted his head, sat on the throne and basically crowned himself KING OF TRISTAN’S HEART like literally that’s the result. Tris loves him and fears him and wants to serve him forever and ever. But Ariel also burned the room to ash leaving Tris’ own confidence or access to confidence even lower. Ended up with stitches on his neck he pulled out.

Victor came in here and gave the king last rites. Tristan’s grief over his father will ease a bit--he never got to really mourn, but that ache will subside somewhat. Victor also got to see a memory! Got some stitches and then peaced out.

Kaneki also got a memory, some stitches, and picked up and took the crown. HE BROUGHT THE CAT IN HERE which means Tris has some vague sense his life should have meaning and maybe confidence idk? Also books were brought but not left so vague feeling his worth is connected to power.

Robin also showed up, got a memory but missed out on stitches. He got ink all over him.

Kaito moved the king, got stitches and a memory and found the hole under the throne. He also brought the queen in here and set them together. Some of Tristan’s sadness over his parent’s death will ease.

Allen entered with a mask and talked to the king a bit. Took off the mask and brainfucked himself a little, got a memory. Due to Allen’s constant mask on and off shenanigans Tris thinks he’s powerful but going to burn out and die young.

Kotarou touched the body and got stitches and left.

Everyone who entered is someone Tris believes has confidence, command and power to some degree. Everyone who got stitches is someone Tris will believe is in some amount of danger on a daily basis. Everyone who touched the body emphasized Tristan’s awareness of his grief and everyone who took the crown is someone Tristan now believes is strong.

I SUM UP
Most people tried to do something positive or at least left it fairly neutral. There’s less grief in here weighing his sense of confidence, but Ariel deeply fucked it up so there’s also the belief Ariel is the most powerful and Tris cannot challenge him on that.

War Room
JUSTICE AND SHIT. Okay this is probably the most functional room on this level. Without a mask you see Tristan’s mother hanging and Titania seated with a mask on, a map of the empire and general war room things. Titania is Tristan’s sense of right and wrong in this heart, and if she touches you, you will get a magically engineered plague Tristan’s mother designed to curtail the rebellion (a plague which failed to stop the war but did claim hundreds of thousands of lives). THERE’S SYMBOLISM IN THAT BEING HOW TITANIA KILLS PEOPLE IN THIS HEART BUT eh she only used it on one person anyway. Wear a mask and you see Tristan’s mother holding a sword to Titania, because that’s how Ariel sees right and wrong, by their mother’s standards, and it’s how Tristan is supposed to (but in reality doesn’t).

Titania is a generally helpful NPC unless you’re fucking shit up, but she won’t figure stuff out for you and she is as cryptic as the rest of the NPCs. Picking up the queen’s crown gave you a memory, touching Titania’s mask gave another.

ACTIONS AND EFFECTS:
ARIEL GOT REALLY UPSET and Titania gave him the plague. He was pathetic enough that another part of Tris rescued him but that didn’t go great for Ariel. Poor Ariel. Tristan definitely knows Ariel is in the wrong and needs to be stopped but still can’t see him punished for it. Ariel’s his kid brother, and when Ariel’s sad and calls for him, Tristan can’t turn away.

Victor spoke to Titania a bit, giving some sense that he’s a Just and Good person. He gave the queen last rites, letting Tristan’s sorrow over her diminish. He also drew court on the map with red ink making Tris feel both like it’s home and a prison. He borrowed her sword, making Tris believe he can affect change for good. Brought the cat heir very briefly!

Kaneki brought the cat in. LIVING IS GOOD!! He talked to Titania a while and experienced a memory but didn’t change anything much.

Kaito saw a memory, talked briefly to Titania, and took to queen to the throne room to be with the king. Letting them rest together.

Jupiter had FEELINGS at his mom and got her to take off her mask. Tris will be less secretive of his sense of right and wrong, and more able to face it. And feel that Jupiter understands it.

Allen entered with a mask, argued with the queen, took the mask off, brainfucked himself more. Tris thinks Allen is very stupid in pursuit of the right thing. And is vaguely confused on where Allen stands on everything. He took the queen down and brought her to the throne room with the king, lessening Tris’ pain over her death. He got Titania to take off her mask, making Tris less secretive of his feelings on right and wrong, and more able to face them.

Aoi pending.

I SUM UP
In general this room experienced a positive change over all. More openness about right and wrong, and lessened grief and trauma. The addition of court to the map is kind of sweet and kind of horrifying as it’s written in red ink.

The Pit
WELL WASN’T THIS LOVELY the pit is Tristan’s self-image and his honesty. He does absolutely believe he’s trash and worthless! Yay! Everyone who came here did get to see it for what it was, Tris is trash, he’s refuse, he doesn’t need a face or an identity or a will of his own because that’s what Ariel constantly tells him and it’s sunk in as how he should be. So why not swim in organs and have no face he belongs there. With a mask this is a pleasant, opulent room with Tris having a face and THAT is because he knows he should at least fake having some kind of identity and he tries real hard.

ACTIONS AND EFFECTS:
Ariel told him to put on a face :U so he did :U and because it was Ariel he took on some characteristics of Ariel! Ariel squished some organs enforcing his belief that he’s trash but also got ink all over himself, sapping his power. Self image got really kind of yan and aggressive and even while Ariel said no he just. Kept going. He did listen to Ariel’s request to leave, reluctantly, and part of him wants to keep Ariel forever and ever and ever whatever Ariel says about it. Because Ariel called for his help, so whatever Ariel believes, Ariel needs him. He also took Ariel’s heart, making him believe he’s more like Ariel, and left bone in Ariel’s chest. THE SYMBOLISM THERE MAN Ariel has no heart. But Tristan can give him one… hahah.

Langer helped put on his face, so he thinks Langer doesn’t see him entirely as trash. Langer also made him eyes so he’ll try to see things the way Langer sees them, because isn’t that what he’s supposed to do? ?? Self-image man.

Kaneki didn’t eat anything here GOOD CALL KANEKI. He helped Tris get his face back then just aggressively cuddled him and the cat so Tris thinks Kaneki has some value! In him! Wow!! That’s amazing! but Kaneki still left to save Allen so Tris isn’t as important that’s not a surprise! WHAT IS A SURPRISE IS KANEKI CAME BACK THAT WAS A BIG DEAL no one ever comes back for Tris that’s why he’s garbage right no one wants garbage!!! but no Kaneki did return for self-image, promised to stay with him, and even dragged him into Sanity which would have been great if not for Nea.

Victor kissed him without a face he’s very confused by that but then Victor cleaned the place up and told him he deserved better and drew him a face and TRIS IS VERY CONFUSED and that would all have very cute consequences except for Nea. But let’s talk about cute anyway. Basically Tris thinks he has value and he doesn’t have to live in a pit and Victor really cares about him whether or not he’s trash and wants him to see himself as beautiful but he has a hard time with that but Victor sees it! What a cute.

Jupiter talked to him and told him to put on a face and he put on the wrong one but Jupiter basically told him MASKS ARE NO GOOD YO and that made him confused. Because he’s pretty sure pretending to be something he’s not is the only way he has value. But no Jupiter thinks he’s great with his own face. And told him he’d support him and stay with him and what cute people.

AND THEN ALLEN CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL. INVALIDATING ALL OF THE ABOVE.

So Allen put on his mask after he came in and brainfucked himself enough to have Nea come out. Nea talked to self-image, decided he was trash (obviously he’s trash!! that’s how Ariel’s told him he is enough to believe it!) and killed him. He gained access to every part of the heart from there for a while.

No more self-image.

I SUM UP
There were a lot of cute positive changes in this area and then it all ended like a Michael Bay movie in fiery explosions. Or, well, Tristan’s self-image being murdered and sinking into viscera so that’s going to be fucked for a while. The good changes may sink in with other parts of the heart but Tristan’s view of himself is just ?????? worthless trash????? dead??? worthless trash?? the fuck is evening happening he might as well not exist??

Music Hall
Sanity! The musician keeps everything going in this goddamn heart and the faltering music is his faltering sanity, but mostly, mostly sanity is holding shit together and you guys should be fucking impressed by that okay, no one appreciates this guy.

ACTIONS AND EFFECTS:
Ariel decided not to mess with sanity THANK GOD. He picked up a broken instrument but dropped it before it could do anything much to him.

Jupiter supported sanity, played music for a while to let him rest, and resulted in Tris feeling a little like his sanity can depend on Jupiter if he feels like he’s losing it. Also brought the cat through.

Kaneki brought self-image and the cat to sanity! But? Well Self-image is dead. But the cat, being will to live, is a great thing here.

Nea offered to play music, but as he’d already killed an NPC, Sanity declined. He did leave the cat with Sanity, giving Tristan’s will to live a saner base, just like Kaneki, and strengthening it. He also kissed sanity, very confused angry dokis.

I SUM UP
Mostly no one fucked up this area. Kaneki and Nea even left the will to live in here which is a VERY SANE REASONABLE THING that cat will do well listening to music and Sanity could really use the fluffy company and encouragement. Jupiter made it so Tris also feels like, when he’s slipping, there’s someone he can rely on for his own sanity, very literally. Positive changes.

Potential
WHAT IT SAYS ON THE TIN. This was Tristan’s potential to grow into anything he wanted and for the most part was dormant and “plain” because Tris hasn’t been living his potential at all. He has a small knife (defiance) and a red earring (affection, red for both Jupiter and Kaneki).

ACTIONS AND EFFECTS:
Ariel I fucking swear to god. Ariel stole the knife then fucked Tris up a bit and murdered him. THIS IS VERY BAD. Tristan now can’t conceive of having potential, of being more than his self-image, and SINCE NEA MURDERED HIS SELF-IMAGE he’s really. Really going to be fucking screwed on the existential front until both NPCs recover eventually. Why does he exist and who is he he doesn’t know who he is or ought to be he’ll probably cling to whatever he perceives people want of him because he has no “self” and no “aspiration” right now. THANK YOU GUYS TEAM EFFORT. Ariel also died in here so Tris will think any expression of himself is dangerous to Ariel.

Jupiter came in and cleaned up the body, dressing it nicely. It will help potential recover faster, hopefully. Tris does believe Jupiter cares about his potential. He had the cat here too, so potential and will to live kinda might exist near each other briefly?

Nea petted the corpse and got kind of bored and left. Vague feelings Nea might be interested in his potential if it existed.

I SUM UP
SO YEAH AGAIN. Dead potential is really bad. Dead potential AND dead self-image is kind of devastating. For a while the “desire to please” may just kind of become a thing replacing both, and Tristan will try to form his identity around what other people want and expect of him until he can recover any kind of sense of self of his own.

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